Simplify...

Simplify.....

That is the word that God keeps bringing to me.  It is everywhere.  It is in my devotionals.  It is in the messages I'm listening to and the books I'm reading.  It is inside my head.  Simplify.  I know our family has several new challenges just around the corner.  Maybe that is why God is trying to prepare us by prompting me to simplify as much of our hectic life as possible now. 

A year ago, I think I was in a much better mind-set.  Our family had gotten rid of so much of our "stuff"!  Our focus was on relationships, people, time, and having less.  We had a homemade Christmas.  The tree wasn't overlowing on Christmas morning.  We all made homemade presents for each other.  In addition we received family gifts....skis, a weekend at the Great Wolf Lodge (in March), State Theater gift card, and restaurant gift card.  They were things to encourage family time.  It was a great Christmas!  Over the past year, however, the "materialism bug" caught us again....or we just got lazy....and fell back into the trap of collecting stuff.  This year's Christmas tree was overflowing.  The gifts were materialistic and much more meaningless. 

This past summer, I made a Priority List.  I listed (with pictures) the things that are most important to me in my life.  I made sure that everything I did with my time and every decision I made was in alignment with my  priorities.  Thinking about my life now, I can see how many things I am choosing are not lining up with my priorities.  I need to get my Priority List out and re-evaluate what I'm doing! 

I think this is an important thing for everyone to do. 

1.  Prioritize

• What are the most important things in your life?  (make a list)
• Make more time for the things that are  your priorities!
• Cut out things that you are doing that are not producing fruit (not in line with your priorities) or are not helping you get closer to your dream or goal.  Sometimes you may have to cut out "good" things (ex. church activities or children's activities) to have time for the "best"!
• Understand that saying "no" is ok.  Choose your activities/commitments carefully. 

2.  Streamline

• Streamline necesseties and be more efficient (housecleaning, errands, grocery shopping, etc.)
• Use a house cleaning schedule
• Stop making multiple trips to the store (ex. only go once a week)

3.  Focus Your Time on Strengths/Gifts

• Recongnize your individual gifts and focus your time and energy on those
• Do NOT give time to areas that you do not have strengths or interest
• Stop trying to do it all and stop expecting to be perfect
• ***Design a "Things I Will Not Do" List

4.  Have New Goals

• It is important to be working towards something....what is your dream?

***Make sure that your time, talent (gifts), and money are all in line with your priorities and are helping you achieve your goals.  If you are spending your time, talent (gifts), or money on things other than your priorities or goals...then I believe you will begin to feel frustrated, overwhelmed, and out of balance.  This is your clue to re-align your priorities with what you are doing. 

In my next post, I will share my individual plan to simplify my life with you. 

The Story of "C"

This morning I realized that I have been procrastinating with telling this story.  I reflected on why and discovered that it is because of fear.  I don't view this as "my" story and I am afraid that my chosen words won't paint the right picture.  In telling this story, I am also taking a huge risk.  Since the very beginning, I know God has been speaking to me about this particular person and it is very risky to open up about this to others.  However, I know God is nudging me to share the story because of the urgency I now feel to do so.  I look at this as my own documentation of our journey that we will someday be able to share with our boys. 

I first saw the picture of "C" and read his short bio last April.  My dream of adoption had been "re-awakened" inside of me and I'd been praying for a few months for God to give me clarity of whether or not this is what I was supposed to do.  I had my answer.  However, Tim was still 100% against the idea.  The moment I saw "C", something inside of me just knew.  I don't think it was a concious knowing...but looking back now....I always knew.  He would be the one.  I couldn't get him out of my head....or my heart.  At the end of May we attended an adoption conference in Grand Rapids.  Tim agreed to go, but was still against the idea.  "C"'s picture was one of many featured on a huge display.  Again...a pang in my chest....like a "knowing".  I started praying for "C" and for Tim to have a change of heart.  I knew that God was going to have to work some miracles here. 

On June 28, it was posted that "C" was matched with an adoptive family.  My feelings were disbelief and confusion.  I didn't understand because I had been so certain that God was speaking to me about this young man and that he was meant to be with our family.  I was so sure.  When I saw that he was matched, I didn't believe it.  My heart told me that it wasn't real and that it wouldn't happen.  I told God "Ok, if he is with a good family, I accept it and I will be happy for him.  However, if this is NOT the right family for him God, please bring him to us."  I told God that if "C" ever went back up on the listing again, that I would KNOW for sure that  he was meant to be with our family.  I continued to pray for "C" every day....for his happiness.  Tim and I continued to "discuss" adoption quite frequently and I prayed and prayed for a change of heart with him. 

I stopped looking on the photolisting site for awhile and was just waiting on God.  I decided that I would stop trying to force things and have faith that He would work things out in His timing and in His way (common theme that God is working on with me!!!).  When I finally had some peace with waiting, we just arrived home from a camping trip mid-August and I felt a strong urge to look on the photolisting site.  I looked on there and couldn't believe that "C" was listed again.  He was once again available for adoption!!!  I have never seen a kid get posted back on after being taken off.  It was my miracle.  God spoke to me in that instant and I knew that "C" was meant to be with us and that I would NEVER give up fighting for him.  Until this point, Tim knew nothing of him, so I shared the story.  Tim still was not on board with adoption, but he was softening.  About a month later, Tim said he would do it.  He knows how much it means to me, knows that it is what God is asking us to do together, and knows it is the right thing to do.  He is doing it out of love (and now is even excited about it!!)

When going through the adoption classes and training, one of our workers made contacts for us with "C"'s adoption worker.  It took a long time for her to get back with us, but the news was devastating.  She told us that "C" has just changed his goal from adoption to APPLA, which is Another Planned Permanent Living Arrangement. He is 16 and he has pretty much given up on the hope of a family and just wants to withdraw within himself and "age out of the system" without a permanent family.  This news was crushing to me and I had to make a choice.  I could simply accept this or fight.  I fought.  I told our worker that we couldn't accept this....he deserved a mom and a dad.  No child should age out of the foster system without a permanent family!  If this happens, their chances of having a successful future are extremely slim.  She was amazing and she kept being extremely persistent with his worker.  She wouldn't stop contacting her until she heard back.  She is a blessing!! 

After a LOT of waiting....where it stands now is that as soon as our homestudy is completed (we are just waiting on edits!) we will send it to "C"'s worker.  They will determine if we would be a good match for him.  If they think we might be a good match for him, we will get a lot more information on him.  If we still want to pursue him, they will go over our family info with "C" and the judge could possibly consider placing him with us under the SIL (supervised independent living) program or long-term foster care.  If  he changes his mind later about adoption and wanted to be adopted, we could pursue that after he turns 18.  

That's the story of "C".  We are waiting for our  home study to be edited so we can send it to his worker.  It is completed.  All the visits are done...all the legal stuff is done.  The door has been slammed shut so many times, but I've had faith through the whole journey.  I still believe with all my heart that God wants "C" to be a part of our family.  I feel like I can't get to him fast enough.  It is breaking my heart that I've wanted him for 9 months....and he doesn't even know it.  He doesn't even know that there is a family here that has been  praying for him every day.  There are 2 girls that want to be his sister.  He has a bedroom ready.....  I am still BELIEVING that God will bring him to us.   

Receiving Gifts

I read a daily devotional online each morning.  This morning's devotional was a great one!  It really hit home with me especially since I am often put in the position with giving a gift to someone who does not want to accept it.  It makes me feel very uncomfortable when you have to "fight" to give someone a gift.  A gift is supposed to be accepted freely and with joy.  On the other hand, if I am being completely honest, I also find myself, sometimes, having a difficult time receiving gifts from others.  This devotional opened my eyes to maybe why that is.  I encourage you to read Joyce's words here.  It is important to see gifts as blessings and in return, go out and be a blessing to others.  You cannot just be a gift-giver....you also have to be able to accept them! 

Waiting on God

Waiting....and more waiting.  It seems like we hurry up....and then wait.  Patience is not one of my strengths.  It never has been.  However, I must say I've been getting very good at it lately.  I believe it is just one of the many traits that God has been strengthening in my character over the past 9 months. 

 God gave me the dream/vision of adoption about 7-8 years ago.  I let that dream go once and when you let your dream die, I believe a part of you dies too.  It was when I realized this...and knew that my dream was never going to go away that I knew I had to make a choice.  A choice that would not only change the direction of my life, but the direction of my family members' lives as well.  It wasn't an easy road in the beginning for any of us.  I traveled alone for several months....VERY alone.  Looking back, I see the many reasons God had me go through this.  It strengthened me in more ways than I can describe.  I came out of it more determined, more sure, and more at peace with my decision than if it had been an easy road.  I also know what it feels like to have no support.  To be totally and completely alone and have no one that you can talk to about certain things.  To have no one understand your thinking....your reasons...and to have the world against you.  To hurt so bad for someone else....complete strangers....that it feels like your heart is being ripped out and feel completely helpless to do anything.  Alone.  Although I will never feel the lonliness and helplessness that these kids have felt, I believe God gave me just a small glimpse.   

I do not give up on things I care about.  I care about these kids deeply.  It is hard for many to understand.  It is often hard for me to understand.  All I know is that it is something God placed inside of me.  I have a job to do for Him and I intend to get it done....and to do it to the best of my ability with His strength and guidance carrying me the entire journey. 

I know He has been molding me into the person He wants and needs me to be to accomplish His will.  He's been teaching me to be patient.  Things will not always happen in the time I think they should.  This has only increased my faith.  I know that he is the author of this story.  For a long time, I kept trying to take the "pen out of his hand" and write it myself.  I had to learn that it is His story, not mine.  It will all happen in His perfect timing. 

I believe Faith is one of my spiritual gifts, however, I have never encountered faith on a level as I am now.  He has made me trust Him over and over when things have looked absolutely hopeless.  Every time He has come through (in His time) and been faithful.  God has slowly built up a team around me.  A team that believes in me and in my vision.  My wonderful husband is extremely supportive and will be my rock and teammate in this journey.  My amazing girls are so excited and have wanted to do this ever since we told them.  They have huge hearts and cannot wait to share their home and love of their family with children who do not have either.  We are surrounded by family and friends who are praying for us and supporting us throughout everything.  Co-workers have been wonderful and supportive.  This is what faith can do!  Even now, when it looks almost hopeless with one of the boys we've been pursuing....I still have faith that God will be faithful.  He's already opened the door a crack!  I refuse to give up on him!

My next post will include more specific details regarding the 2 boys and where we are at with our homestudy, etc.  I just learned today that we now need to wait until next week to be able to send out our information to the boys....but I have to have faith that there is a reason in all this WAITING.  God knows what He is doing and why.  I don't have to understand it all....I just have to have patience and BELIEVE. 

Coming Soon....

I will be taking some time in the next day or two to give everyone an update on where we are in our adoption process as well as some more specifics about the two boys we are currently pursuing.  It has been quite hectic with getting prepared for Christmas, especially with class Christmas celebrations coming up and making sure everything is done at home as well.  We are getting very excited though!  Please watch for more info soon.....!! 

You're on the Naughty List!!

So...I had a big revelation as I was driving in to work this morning.  We were listening to Christmas music and Bruce Springsteen's version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" came on.  As I was listening to the song....the lyrics really hit me.  It is really a pretty horrible song!!  I was thinking how absolutely blessed we are and how grateful we should be that Jesus is nothing like Santa Claus.  I mean...think about it.  Santa Claus keeps a list throughout the year of all the WRONG things you do.  Jesus, on the other hand, knows the things you will do before you ever do them, loves you anyway, and forgives you immediately.  He holds nothing against you and holds no record of all your past sins. 

The song pretty much threatens that you'd better WATCH OUT, better not pout, better not cry....all because Santa is coming to town and you want to make sure you don't miss out on the good stuff that the big guy will be handing out for free! If you are bad, cry, pout, or do anything wrong, you will automatically be put on the "naughty list" and will receive nothing from Santa.   

Wow!  I am so grateful that Jesus is the complete opposite of Santa.  With Jesus, we may cry, pout, make mistakes, fail, hurt, and have the freedom to not be "perfect".  Nothing is held against us because He gave his life for us.  In return, He gives us lots of "good stuff" every day of our lives.  We are given the gifts of mercy, grace, peace, patience, faith, freedom, comfort, courage, and LOVE.  He gives us so much more....too much for me to list.  I cannot imagine my life without Him. 

There are no good works that you can do to earn your way on the good list.  You don't have to always try your best to be perfect or be a "good little boy or girl".  We know that we are human and we will make mistakes.  We are already on the good list and our names cannot be erased no matter how many mistakes we make.  That is true freedom.  That is true love.  This is what Christmas is truly about. 

I'm so glad my Jesus isn't like Santa....

Walking on Water

Thinking is easy.  When you have thoughts, you own them.  They are private.  They are locked up safely inside your head.  There is no risk involved.  People can't disagree with you, criticize you, or doubt you.  There is safety in thinking.

Sharing, however, is risky.  When you share, you open yourself up to others having different opinions, misunderstanding your intentions, being critical of your choices or beliefs, or even laughing at you.  Opening up is not safe. 

Jesus, however, did not ask us to live a safe, comfortable life.  He is asking us all to step out in faith and take risks.  Take risks that matter.  Take risks for others.  Take risks out of love.  It is when we can step away from our security and take that first step out onto the water that we truly begin to live. 

Blogging is not something that I ever thought I would do.  It is still not something that I really want to do.  As I said, sharing your thoughts and opening up about what is going on in the inside of yourself and your family is risky.  However, I believe this is bigger than me or our family.  I believe that we will have a story to tell and God wants us to share it.

.  The journey that has just begun will not be easy for any of us.  We are stepping out onto the water, expecting to sink sometimes.  However, we know that every time we begin to sink, Jesus will be there as our life preserver, keeping us afloat during those difficult times.  There will also be many times of great joy and love when we will all be able to see God working through and in our lives.  He has already done so many amazing things and been so faithful that I feel I need to tell our story as it unfolds so that everyone can see the true "author" of this story. 

It is my hope that family and friends that are far away can feel like they are right here with us.  I have faith that as we continue to take risks to fight for our God-given vision for our lives and for the boys that God has chosen for us to bring into our family, we will soon be walking on water.....