I am also very grateful to be where we are today. Less than one year ago (end of last February) was when I seriously began praying about this whole adoption thing again. 7-8 years ago I was sure this was going to be a part of my life, but Tim and I realized that the timing wasn't right. I felt the "call" very strongly again last February (actually quite a few months before) and began praying about it. I think somewhere around last March I was sure that this was something God was calling me to do. Actually, I don't really like the phrase "calling".
I believe I was created by God and put here to do this.
It blows my mind to think about all the changes that have occurred over the past 9-10 months. I can't believe we are now a licensed home ready to accept a son into our home (you have no idea how crazy this is to write!). I can't believe that Tim is willing and excited to welcome another person into our home (he was so against this in the beginning). God has moved in so many ways and has already done so many impossible things. He has come through and answered so many of my prayers. I just know that He is getting ready to answer another....
Every time over the past year I've prayed for the impossible and continued to believe...even when it looked hopeless...God answered my prayers. It always took longer than I thought and the pain was always a lot harder to get through than I anticipated. I held my faith, didn't give up, and He was faithful. In all cases, one thing was the same. In the beginning stage, I would get excited with my idea/vision. Next, I would go through the waiting stage and think "man, this is taking longer and is tougher than I thought it would be". In the waiting stage I kept praying and believing and was still filled with hope. The final stage was my "barely holding on stage". It was when I felt like I could hardly take it anymore and if God wasn't there holding me up, I was seriously going to lose it! Ever feel like that? It was when I started questioning everything I was doing and had to decide if I was "all in no matter the cost". I had to decide if I was going to keep going no matter how painful it became. Then, all of a sudden it would be like something clicked inside of me and I got a second wind. I believe it was God giving me the grace to keep moving forward. The most important thing about that final stage is that it was always the stage right before I received the blessing!
As I sit back and reflect on this past week, a familiar wave of recongition passes over me. It is like an old friend visiting...not necessarily one that you enjoy seeing, but you know that as soon as this old friend leaves, there will be great joy.
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