New Arrivals!!

The girls and I have wanted to raise chickens for 2 years now.  The thought of having fresh organic free-range eggs every day is very appealing.  The thing that has held us back is the time, work, and money that goes into starting the endeavor.  Not to mention, a husband who really dislikes chickens!!  Well, this spring the timing all seemed to be right.  We felt up to the challenge so we waited until we returned from our week's vacation (spring break) at Chicago and then came home and created our homemade brooder for the chicks.  There are so many kinds to choose from and they can be quite expensive if you choose to buy one.  Well, we settled on taking cardboard boxes, taping them together with packing tape and lining them with newspaper and pine shavings.  We have 2 chick waterers and one chick feeder.  We soon realized they would need a perch/roosting pole also so Tim made a homemade one. 

We started out with the idea of getting 8.  Our family eats at least 6-8 eggs a day so I thought 8 hens just wouldn't be enough!  We ended up getting 12 baby chicks.  We have 4 Leghorn pullets and 8 Golden Comet pullets.  We got them all on March 31.  We were told that the Golden Comets were about 3 weeks old and the Leghorns about 2 weeks.  The Golden Comets are growing so quickly it is amazing!!  They have "feathered up" so much in only 4 days!  It is very fun to watch their personalities.  Some are very sweet and docile while others are more scared and apprehensive.  One is such a lovey dovey and ALWAYS wants to climb on my hand and be held (a very curious bird...already wants to see the world!).  A few have names....strangely they are all male names even though we know they are all females! 

       

This is my "Napoleon" giving a good stretch.

These are 2 Leghorns.  The one with the spot on her head, Mieke named "Moses". 

No name yet, but she likes to take a nap on the edge of a bowl!

Stretching her new feathers

They are changing so fast.  They are losing their baby fuzz and

getting more and more feathers every day!

This was at 3 weeks (first day we had them). They fell asleep on the

waterer.

Chicks at 3 weeks

Napoleon already looks like she's trying to lay an egg!

Well, we started our chicken coop today!  Looks like they will be able to start moving outside in the next week or two.  Some are maturing and feathering-up quicker than others.  We'll start moving them out to the coop as soon as they are fully feathered.  My next post will show pictures of the coop being built!  

Perseverance

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.            
 --James 1:2-4

We've been asked many times over the past few months what is happening with our adoption.  It is a question that does not have a quick and easy answer.  For those who casually ask at work, we usually say, "Oh, we're still waiting".  The response is always, "Wow, it's been a long time".  Yes.....we know!  Truthfully, the answer is much deeper than that, but so hard to explain.  We ARE still waiting.  Waiting on God.  Waiting for Him to bring the right boy(s) into our lives.  God is up to something and I'm not so sure He wants us to understand or know exactly what it is.  Whether He is doing some work on me, our family, or really working behind the scenes in the lives of our future sons....I can't say.  All I can say is that when He wants us to understand, He will reveal the answers to us. 

For now, not much makes sense.  I battle with myself every day and remind myself that God is working on this and He has all this under control.....because nothing makes sense.  There are all these kids out there that need adoptive homes, but when we make inquiries (sometimes several), we don't ever hear back.  I strongly believe that it has been my time to wait and that's what I've been doing....waiting.  That's why I haven't posted in a month and a half.  We've had no news and I felt it was time to "be quiet".  This might not make sense to everyone, but I know I've heard God say to wait and He will bring the boy to us...we are not to pursue anyone else until that happens.  I have to say that just sitting and waiting is so much harder than fighting for something.  In fact, these have probably been the hardest few months of my life.  However, they have strengthened me....strengthened my faith and my character.  I KNOW God will come through on His promise to us....when it is His time.

Lincensed and Joy

With a very tough emotional week behind me, I realize I never posted that we are officially licensed!!  We found out on Monday that our license went into effect on January 18!!  While we are not interested in providing foster care, this is part of the process so when the boys are staying with us (until adoption) we will technically be providing foster care (fostering to adopt) until the adoption takes place.  This can take between 6-12 months depending on the situation. 

I am also very grateful to be where we are today.  Less than one year ago (end of last February) was when I seriously began praying about this whole adoption thing again.  7-8 years ago I was sure this was going to be a part of my life, but Tim and I realized that the timing wasn't right.  I felt the "call" very strongly again last February (actually quite a few months before) and began praying about it.  I think somewhere around last March I was sure that this was something God was calling me to do.  Actually, I don't really like the phrase "calling". 

I believe I was created by God and put here to do this. 

It blows my mind to think about all the changes that have occurred over the past 9-10 months.  I can't believe we are now a licensed  home ready to accept a son into our home (you have no idea how crazy this is to write!).  I can't believe that Tim is willing and excited to welcome another person into our home (he was so against this in the beginning).  God has moved in so many ways and has already done so many impossible things.  He has come through and answered so many of my prayers.  I just know that He is getting ready to answer another....

Every time over the past year I've prayed for the impossible and continued to believe...even when it looked hopeless...God answered my prayers.  It always took longer than I thought and the pain was always a lot harder to get through than I anticipated.  I held my faith, didn't give up, and He was faithful.  In all cases, one thing was the same.  In the beginning stage, I would get excited with my idea/vision.  Next, I would go through the waiting stage and think "man, this is taking longer and is tougher than I thought it would be".  In the waiting stage I kept praying and believing and was still filled with hope.  The final stage was my "barely holding on stage".  It was when I felt like I could hardly take it anymore and if God wasn't there holding me up, I was seriously going to lose it!  Ever feel like that?  It was when I started questioning everything I was doing and had to decide if I was "all in no matter the cost".  I had to decide if I was going to keep going no matter how painful it became.  Then, all of a sudden it would be like something clicked inside of me and I got a second wind.  I believe it was God giving me the grace to keep moving forward.  The most important thing about that final stage is that it was always the stage right before I received the blessing! 

As I sit back and reflect on this past week, a familiar wave of recongition passes over me.  It is like an old friend visiting...not necessarily one that you enjoy seeing, but you know that as soon as this old friend leaves, there will be great joy. 

God Hit Me on the Head!

Ok....if you have not yet read the post that I just published, you need to read that first.  I am really kicking myself right now for not seeing it and being too quick to act (write).  I just got done publishing it and then what do you know?  God throws a certain scripture right at me (literally in my face)!  Here it is:

"Let us hold on to the hope we say we have and not be changed.  We can trust God that He will do what He promised."            Hebrews  10:23

How could I have been so blind??  I'm so tempted to delete my first post, but then that would be deleting part of my story and I can't do that.  Anyone who cares about our story needs to see the whole thing...the ups and downs....the emotions....and the attacks.  And how God brings me right back to Him every time.  This story is too important to edit or to delete certain parts and I really believe He is asking me to share it. 

Letting Go...

I'm not even sure what to write right now.  I have such a mix of emotions.  I know what I'm "supposed to feel".  Wait....I take that back.  No, I don't.  What am I supposed to feel?  You name the emotion and I've already been through it, talked myself back out of it, prayed, gotten back on track...and then Wham!  They are all back again and I go around in that circle again. 

Impatient, frustrated, confused, frustrated, sad, frustrated, angry, frustrated, anxious, frustrated, expectant, frustrated, excited, frustrated....did I mention frustrated?  Then I get to where I remind myself that God has a plan for us....for our family...and for our future sons.  He knows who will be coming into our home and when.  My frustration only comes when I keep trying to figure it all out.  When I become impatient and frustrated is when I realilze I'm trying to grab the pen from God's hand AGAIN!  Only He is the author of this story...not me.  When I am getting confused and frustrated and trying to figure things out, I've gone too far....I've gone beyond trusting God and beyond having faith.  I'm trying to take control.  This is a lesson He is continually trying to teach me. 

We heard back about our inquiry of the 15 year old boy (seemed like a great kid).  He is no longer available for adoption.  Hopefully this is a very good thing for him.  I don't have details, but I pray he is with relatives or another loving family and will be given a great future.  In being completely honest, I am very disappointed because he did seem like such a great kid, but I am truly very happy for him. 

Still no word from "C"'s worker.  It has been 2 1/2 weeks that they have had our home study.  I am very conflicted.  Part of me says "Don't give up.  Keep fighting for him."  Another part of me is saying it is time to let go.  I need to give it completely over to God and stop praying for what I want and what I think should happen and start praying for the person who NEEDS US.  I know that there is a young man out there that God has already chosen for us, who will fit in with our family, and who needs us very much.  I think I need to let go of "C" and let God have complete control (not that I really have any control anyhow....but you understand).  I'm not saying that "C" is NOT the one for our family....he still could be, but I feel maybe I need to let him go to truly find out.....

I have to say that this is not easy to write.  It is not easy to write what is on your heart knowing others might read it.  It's not easy putting your thoughts out there, not knowing what the actual "life outcomes" will be.  The whole world will see what happens.  I may look like a fool.  In my first post I talked about how risky this is.  But, I also said I want to follow Jesus and I know that in order to do that you need to get out of the boat and step onto the water. 

I guess if you are reading this, then I've decided it is worth the risk and I've made my choice.....I've let go.....

Adoption Update

I figured I owed it to everyone to tell you exactly what is going on right now (exact details) with the adoption process.  We heard back from the worker of the younger (14 yr old) boy we were interested in.  They are currently exploring the option of placing him with a relative right now.  We don't know how that will turn out.  If it doesn't work out, they will have our home study on file and will consider us. 

I just posted on the current situation with "C".  We are praying hard to hear some good news...and I believe we will! 

We just asked our worker to inquire about another 15 year old boy.  He's been on my heart for a few months now, but we were waiting to see how things played out with the other situations first.  We requested that she send our home study to his worker and to see if he is available or not. 

I'll keep you posted as I expect to hear something soon.  My faith is strong and I know God is working for the good of these boys and for our family.  Please pray for all of us!  

Praying Like Crazy....

Something has been happening.  I've been feeling a "change" inside.  I feel like I shouldn't actually be posting it on the blog, but then again....why not?  I believe that God is moving right now and that He is working on something big.  Over the past week, I've shifted from having feelings of doubt, fear, frustration, and discouragement (although fighting them 100% because I know where they are coming from!) to feelings of expectation, anticipation, joy, and another feeling that is very difficult to put into words.  It is kind of like my heart is swelling up and about to explode out of my chest.  I have this intense longing to bring my "boys" home.  It is hard to give an update on what is going on because I don't have answers.  All I can say is that God is working and I believe He is working miracles behind the scenes. 

I asked for prayers a few months ago about "C" and there was an entire team praying.  Since then, I believe everyone, except ME, has given up thinking that there is a chance that he will be coming to our family.  I still believe.  I will continue to believe until God tells me no.  If that happens, I will accept it, but until that day comes, I will continue fighting for this young man with everything I've got!  Why, you  might ask?  The only answer I can give you is "because I've been told to!".  We're running off a long-shot right now.  Our home study is with his worker and him.  We're just waiting to hear back.....  That is why I'm praying like crazy.  Praying that this mountain will move and this young man can have a family and a chance.  He's been looking for a permanent home for over 3 years now and has given up hope.  My desire is that God will allow our family to be used for Him to work through us to restore this young man's hope. 
I've debated on whether or not to post the following, but we've had this hanging on our fridge for months.  This is a poster that the young man drew.  Please click here to view it and PLEASE join us in praying for him!